high up below...

i am on a high... on a high... there's nothing more to it (yeah)...

.. the sea and the sky and the blue that runs through it (yeah)...

watched GATTACA (starring ethan hawke and uma thurman) earlier, around 10pm till 'round 12am... and i became high... still feeling high that i am posting something in my "whatever... forsaken" blog of my creation... i hope i can make sense of my euphoric state, or whatever state i may be in at the moment...

i just observed... that everytime i watch a movie, especially when alone, i get high... i dunno, weird, maybe wonderful. as i stare at the closing credits... the essence of the movie sinks into me, into the depths of my subtle mind, deep into the pockets of my collective memory, concscious, unconscious, id, ego, superego... as if the movie is playing inside my brain, staring at me in my eyes, as if hallucinating; a moment engulfed in the essence's awakening embrace.

resurrected. yes, resurrected from the barren death of my routines; endless repetitions. my thoughts wander through what i have seen and absorbed... the scenes, as i mingle with the events, explore the setting, meet the characters... and become one. or maybe be the one watching them from above.

gattaca. a place where the elite work and gather, where only those 'valid' could access its hallowed premises, those who have been genetically-modified to become 'superior' beings: better physical endurance, higher IQ, to name some. they become immune to crimes, granted limitless freedom, almost untouched by law, and sent on space missions of a nature i don't know.

and the in-valid. those of 'normal', conventional conception, of which come along limitations and defects... 'normal' levels of heart rate, endurance and whatever, congenital defects, and others... they serve the elite, the valid...

valids are destined to greatness. in-valids aren't. they serve them, live a slavic life, attend to some valids' whimsical needs...

and he... vincent... an in-valid... desired to become valid more than anything else.

and he did... just to reach the stars... and vincent became jerome.. and reached them.

"every single atom in our body has come from the stars... we're not leaving (earth), we're coming home to the stars..."

am still high. still high... maybe with jerome, coming home...

i like this state. as as lull to myself to sleep... the movie will run through, taking me away... imagining, no, embracing the alternate reality... living it, realizing myself in it... a self so different, so... liberated. far from the clutches that keep me still on the ground, keeping me away from the vast ocean of sky, from the depths of my eyes.

i am.

the chatter and his V-day

happy heart's day to all (belated, technically).

whew... such a day...

all black. the shoes. the socks. the slacks. the sling bag. the folded-up long sleeves. the hair. black looks good. black means no dandruff. clear... has zinc vitanol...

my name is ray (jayson ray) <<>>

hay, ewan!

why black? wala lang. naisip ko lang last week n i want to wear black sa valentine's. take note, 'di ko naisip si piolo... wala lang talaga. feel ko lang mag-itim. care nyo??? ay, ang sungit.... bitter lang siguro... wahaha! (pero interested akong pumunta sa CLEAR Black Valentine Party nila sa The Fort ngayong sabado... andun kasi si Moony! oh my gosh! i feel like partying... pero hindi. alang pera. huhu).

tapos napag-usapan sa org (go eCOTOUR!) na mag-iitim ang mga 'single' members, wala lang, chorvah lang... single's awareness day daw (?). hehe.

kaya ayun, all black ako. at napansin kahit ayoko... hay... hindi siya nag-itim (huh?). basta. sa'kin na lang yun.

so there, despite the brain-wrecking exams and a quiz, i managed to pass through the day wearing my all black attire (save for the blue pen, blue folder and orange handkerchief). i brought my digicam to capture some of my 'black' moments (see related photo album), myself and with other 'balck' people...

whew... just... just felt confused again today... especially in the afternoon, where i was... darn... so ewan... so aloof? no. it was just... well, some matters of the heart i'm shy to admit and do... just... just sensing... maybe not just now... argh! just don't mind.

***

and what about chatting?

in continuation, well... i've chatted with quite a few sensible ones that were open with what they have in life (just not sure if they were all true, but my heart says that i should believe them). a busy school girl, a 25-year old graduate bumming around, pinay from japan, pinoy from dubai, fil-am from new york, a pretty teen mom, a 3rd year UP diliman ChE student, a gay in love, and other bunch of interesting people.

different stories. different personalities. no holding back. truth is relative. privacy is everything.

j@yson: care to chat?

more... soon.

chatting up late...

why oh why??? such an interesting activty is discovered so late by this quirky boy...

countless rooms, nonsense talk, pissing people, pissed people, interesting, naughty, nuances, pretty, everything... all these in exchange of staying up late 'till the early morn. damn... i'm getting hooked up.

why?

to be continued...